You Know You’re a Vegas Fanatic When...
1) You go to McDonalds and ask if they will “comp” your fries.
2) You know what “canvassing” is and you actually take a political stance on the issue.
3) You have a marriage license somewhere that reads “Clark County” AND your current wife is unaware of it.
4) Every time your doorbell rings, you think you hit the jackpot.
5) You have a casino host’s business card in your wallet (but you don’t really need it because you’ve already memorized his number).
6) You think Elvis is still alive.
7) When your son is accepted to Harvard you will hand him a congratulations card that reads, “I.O.U. Please enjoy two free nights in the Presidential Suite at the MGM Grand.”
8) Your wife has a secret bank account.
9) You’re over fifty but you still insist that you “know how to shake it.”
10) You have never heard of the Magic Kingdom.
11) You know the wine list at Auerole by heart.
12) You flew home half naked because you literally gave them the shirt off your back.
13) You go to your local bar and when the tab comes you hand them your Players Club Card.
14) You wake up in the morning and accidentally press 0 and expect Room Service to answer.
15) When your kid lost his tooth, you left a casino chip under his pillow.
16) You consider the Megabucks a high-yield IRA.
17) You tell your friends you have been to Paris, Venice, Rome, Greece, Egypt and several 18) Caribbean Islands but you still do not own a passport.
18) Your child’s middle name is “Fremont."
19) You think that the state lottery is a waste of money.
20) When your son asked you to teach him to play catch, you taught him craps instead.
21) When you go to the ATM, you can’t help but yell, “Big Money! Big Money.”
22) You still call Planet Hollywood the Aladdin.
23) Marilyn Monroe was your maid of honor.
24) You own an article of clothing completely covered in sequins.
25) You’ve never heard of “last call.”
26) You’ve walked into a restaurant and ordered eggs benedict and a Jack and Coke.
27) When you are driving and someone cuts you off, your horn plays “Viva Las Vegas.”
28) After reviewing your expense account, you tried to explain to your boss that “the Golden Nugget” is an office supply store.
29) You think “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” is one of the Ten Commandments.
30) You are currently reading this web page using the wifi connection in your Las Vegas hotel room...
